Adoption is a beautiful act. God even “destined us for adoption as his children through Jesus Christ, according to the good pleasure of his will.”1 Adoption is something that should be rejoiced over–as children of God we are adopted. Once without a future, now through the proclamation of God, we are in God’s “forever family.” This is incredible and beautiful.
Often today, adoption is thought of much beyond our adoption into God’s family but rather it is it is a joining of a child to a welcoming family. This should be beautiful. And, often it is a joyous occasion. I can clearly remember holding my 9 month old son in my arms for the first time five and a half years ago. He had been asleep and without any warning on his behalf a nanny picked him up and placed him in my arms. Suddenly, I was his mother and he was my son. Just like that. After months of waiting and anticipating this moment, after completing countless documents and a thick dossier, and after traveling over 24 hours to a foreign country we were finally there. At that moment, everything changed. My husband and I became parents. And, my son became a son…again. And, once again he lost so much–nannies who had carried for him, the familiar setting he had grown to know, the sounds and touch and tastes of his environment.
We gained. He lost.
As another adoptive parent writes, “If it were not for the fact that something went terribly wrong, adoption would not be necessary. Be it death or abuse or abandonment, intentional or otherwise, there is a tragic reason this child is in need of a different family from the one that shares the same bloodline and facial features. There is a broken past with every single adopted child out there and it leaves a mark. Sometimes that mark is a faded scar that is barely noticeable to the untrained eye.”2 Adoption is messy and broken. And, although I don’t regret one minute of the adoption of my two beautiful children, there have been many hard, broken moments in our life together as we navigate through a sad and broken past.
Adoption is beautiful. Adoption is hard.
The month of November is designated as Adoption Awareness Month (as well as a variety of other awarenesses highlighted in the month of November). There are many blogs, webpages, and twitter feeds that focus on this beautiful and hard act. Here is a list of articles, blogs, and webpages focusing on the various perspectives of adoption:
Twitter #flipthescript: A movement to give adoptees a voice and a place to share their stories.
The Lost Daughters: a webpage focuses on sharing the stories and insights of adult adoptee females.
Did You Ever Mind It: On Race and Adoption written by assistant editor of The Toast, Nicole Soojun Callahan.
Land of Gazillion Adoptees is a multimedia company that collaborates with adoptees and members of other marginalized communities to own and talk about their experiences on their terms.
Owlhaven by Mary Ostyn shares her story of how she and her husband ended up adopting six kids when they already had four by birth, along with thoughts about issues we and other families face along the adoption journey.
The Ugly Side of Adoption written by Ashley and Richard Whittemore.
What is Home for My Adopted Son? by Julie Corby for InCultureParent
Adoption.net is a webpage with a variety of resources for adoptees, adoptions, pregnancy, and surrogacy.
I Hate Adoption from the perspective of the sibling of an adopted child.
Creating a Family, blogtalk radio show featuring topics on infertility and adoption.
Light of Day Stories, written by Maureen McCauley Evans, former executive director of the Joint Council on International Services, interim executive director of The Barker Adoption Foundation, and executive director of Children’s Home Society and Family Services East. She is also the mother of four adult children.
This list could continue with a variety of blogs written parents in the adoption process, as well as more webpages on attachments, trauma, and parenting.
What articles and webpages would you add to the list?
Read other thoughts and reflections by Liz Moss on adoption and parenting: Meeting Her and Prayer of Confession.
Ephesians 1:5 NRSV ↩
“The Ugly Side of Adoption” from The Beautiful Journey, November 8, 2014. ↩
This is a great roundup — thank you!
Thanks Liz, for highlighting this important topic. The full meaning of Christ’s love for me became more real to me at the baptism of my two adopted children–it’s a beautiful metaphor and I’m forever grateful that God has allowed me to be their dad.
I agree, Erik. I don’t think I fully realized the extent of God’s love until I became a parent.